This year has been full of emotional and private issues that ultimately reflected on my BJJ. We all know it is taboo to bring negativity onto the mats and like any wise old woman, I stayed away. However, things are starting to turn around and my soul is finally returning to a peaceful state. It is funny, this thing called life that throws curve balls that you can’t see and they end up smacking you in the face… it is even funnier when you threw the ball at yourself to begin with. Yeah… priceless. While I dodged the “rehab” bullet and forwent my own form of self cleansing, I do realize that I have taken a huge step backwards in my health and moving forward will be a mental battle. Slipping back into my Gi will not be easy and I’m really worried that my old lady joints and muscle will be a huge factor now. My lungs took the hardest hit and with a bum knee I am not sure how I will get my cardio back up.
In the past I have rolled to either prove I was a “bad ass”, and or capable of being promoted… but now, all I want to do is prove to myself that I did not and will not give up. I will gladly be a 10 year blue belt who simply loves to roll and who does not compete but just enjoys the sport. Motivation is there, the will is there… let’s see if I can just
~You do not have to be Great to Start, but you have to Start to become Great~