I know I will never be the grappler I was before or the grappler that I could have been… At one point I was thoroughly convinced I needed a few stripes on my belt and was looking towards my purple belt. Today, I would trade all that bullsh*t in for my white belt to be placed back onto my waist. I cannot roll hard past 2 minutes TOPS, I can push myself hard but at some point my body says Enough… You are Done, and like a light switch all muscles cease to be relevant. I got to roll with a white belt this afternoon and when my body was done, it was done and I had to tap out… I just couldn’t get my arms to function anymore, no grip, no strength… just dead weight. I used to be a very arrogant, cocky blue belt and being submitted by a white belt would have just destroyed me… but today, I’m just like whatever, deal with it! At some point in time, there is a realization that Jiu-Jitsu is an art and the higher up in belts you go, the more you realize that it is all the same and it does something that either destroys you or it makes you more appreciative of the art and humbles you. I knew full well that when I came back this would probably happen and I was going to have to deal with it and if I couldn’t then I didn’t belong on the mats.
Another part of this is that I can roll hard up to 2 minutes, before I feel dizzy and sick. I still go back to class everyday, I still get out there and I still try to go past my 2 minute mark – My Goal. As long as I keep going back to class, I’m fine and I can deal with it… This is what Jiu-Jitsu is, you learn.
We never loose, We learn and Our Greatest Mistakes
are Made from not Failing, but
Failing to learn from those Mistakes.